7 hits (3 too many) of LSD finally did it!
At last, I'm satisfied that acid is fer real!
(I will try to edit w/ details but there are eggs frying upstairs)
Ha ha! Double entendre!
[Edit: Details Follow]
While
smoking pot in the garage a green light in the lower-right glowed
surreally bright, and running streams of light began to emanate from
around its edges. The longer I stared the more convinced I was that I
was witnessing a pinhole-sized "tear" in the fabric of my
personal-existential reality, and I began to fear slightly that the
world would end if I beheld it too long. But it turned out to be a real
green light.
Back in the comfy trip lounge I sat down
uncomfortably at first, then decided it made more sense to get
comfortable. I had some tunes on at first (chillout!) but turned them off when things got really
intense later. When I knew I'd begun to trip I shut my eyes and became
sensitive to every internal perturbation, some of which I was certain
were chemical-olfactory signals from animals in the area, some of which
could have been EM or radio signals, some of which seemed to be
emanating from minds in my locale. It was strange, but slowly it
started to get weird.
As the experience started to get heavily
alien I found I no longer knew automatically how to react to it from
moment to moment, and so had to consciously think about my response, in
order to get a sense of control. I decided the proper reaction for the
time being was boredom, since nothing was happening that I couldn't
handle, or that I hadn't seen before, yet. That would keep me from
getting carried away by it. But a few minutes later, as I was being
rocked uncomfortably by wave after blurry psychedelic wave, I realized
the point wasn't to ignore the experience until it so impressed me that I
couldn't, the point was to study its details! So I did, and
the act of interest caused my mind to engage with the experience in a
new way -- at first I felt a refusal on the part of the experience to be
studied closely, sort of a "you-weren't-interested-before" message
emanating again and again (is this an error from a buffer for our
experience that has to be cleared before higher-resolution data can be
buffered? huh?!), but after a few seconds of my single-mindedly
observing its details, more and more detail and substance poured and
poured out, in innumerable bizarre forms. In other words, interest in
the details alone actually enhanced the patterns and sensations, caused
the experience to complexify and solidify, brought it into sharp relief.
My
mind spread out laterally, folks, down channels I perceived to emanate
from all the minds astrally near mine. I felt chemical signals jostling
along giant beehives, thoughts and emotions propagating over the backs
of psychic ants speaking to each other in non-verbal, intuitive cues.
For
the peak of the experience I sat in silence with eyes closed, subjected
to a screamingly intense experience so loud that it was like having
God's megaphone pointed straight into my soul and shouted through -- so
loud and so bright that I felt like I'd be deafened and blinded, but as
long as I responded with interest and gladness and remembered to keep looking,
minding never to become averse to the experience no matter how strange
it got, I would proceed through the flashing psychedelic montage
fluidly, while my shape and surroundings changed in a constant
intelligent dance.
It occurred to me many times as I passed
through the many spaces and modes I visited, that the experience my
altered chemistry was producing was very likely totally novel,
thoroughly alien, certainly non-human, and I would briefly think how
very cool and scary that was.
I had the feeling that the
experiencers of human lives are hyperdimensional intelligences which are
(paraphrasing Terence McKenna) networked, organized and intelligent.
They are perhaps experiencing our lives using Technology. They are
embedded in an interface and can communicate with each other using it.
I felt like, at some points, I was using that interface, polling the
network for other entities to rap with, sensing their proximities and
responses.
But that part was vague and could obviously have been
imaginal. The whole thing is vague now -- hours and hours and hours it
changed and changed and kept changing, for at least an hour straight it
was a pounding torrential shower of mindful-chaotic information I could only stand under, not absorb, and oh yeah! I decided two important things:
1. We're like ants and
2. Experienced reality is generated by a computer
(the brain, and thus can take a huge number of different forms -- isn't
automatically applied to matter by the universe, that is, -except- that
even when my personal experience was utterly, thoroughly alien, I had
the capability to instantly reflect on myself and what I was doing
[tripping], making me think that perhaps some aspect of our
self-awareness is transcendant, inherent to the trans-dimensional
intelligences that play our lives, while the sensory and cognitive
sphere we inhabit is generated by the brain. Eh!)
Yippee!
Just
to be comprehensive here I had taken an SNRI (Venlafaxine) that day,
but certainly had an experience regardless. As for whether it was
qualitatively different from most strong LSD experiences, I wouldn't
know -- since this was my first! This was also about an hour after
coming down from 150mg intranasal MDMA. I got a little paranoid about
six hours into the LSD, when the experience was easier to ignore and I
was exhausted of studying it, but that didn't get too bad -- although I
did think for sure the cops were about to pull me out of the shower at one point, when the bathroom was flashing red and blue.
I didn't get to sleep until the next day.
Now
that I've finally had an acid trip to rival my best mushroom trips in
intensity, I must say acid is far less grounded, much more astral and
astronomical than mushrooms, where mushrooms seem more spiritual (or is
it body-bound) and earthy; acid is also more consistent and relentless
in the pace of its presentation, whereas mushrooms have an organic sense
of ebb and flow.
I also didn't expect LSD to contain alien
intelligences in inconceivable forms but for a little bit near the peak
-- I swear it did. That's one thing I haven't found in mushrooms yet,
although I understand it's caused by 'em not altogether uncommonly. For
me, mushrooms usually have an intuitive intelligent interface with a
being-felt-not-sensed going on. But these LSD creatures were
visual-auditory elves. Like DMT's rap, but less distinct and active
than I understand DMT's elves to be -- these seemed to be intelligent
regions of a vast ocean of psychedelic forms, rather than any individual
distinct shapes that I can recall (appearing alongside the words
visually presented, "Elf Intelligences"). Also, they more lurked and
mumbled than capered and sung. But they weren't scary -- they were
strangely charming if that's what they were. I remember "communicating"
in the experience but it was all non-verbal, not meaningful meatside.
Anyone ever encounter elf intelligences on LSD? I had a notion that
they could have represented units of my brain. I think a lot of the
hyperdimensional intelligent alien chat matrix stuff that I perceived
could have been units of my brain communicating.
Or it coulda been alien radio!
http://forums.lycaeum.org/index.php?PHPSESSID=r0c7fcf7n52af91o89cm34svh2&topic=7047.msg63849
